went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
