return my video game
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
