i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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