I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
3 2 1 whiskey
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
