so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
