What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
