I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
