i can't believe i had my finger in that
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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