yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
