His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
