The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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