Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
