she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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