Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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