I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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