im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
