It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
