Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize