NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
