Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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