I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm at about main and main street
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
