I love having hate sex.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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