she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
