2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
