my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
please come you make the beer taste better
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
