Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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