Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
