Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
