so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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