hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We need to get me chipped asap
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
