i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
