The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
