why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize