i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
