What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
