mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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