I could make wine with my vomit
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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