I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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