He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
