do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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