The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
