"it" just moved
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
