i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You made out with two different species that night
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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