Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
