Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize