you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
