Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just made my gag reflex go away.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
