Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize