doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
