Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
