Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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