omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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