Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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