Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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