Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
