Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
