We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm lost and stupid without you.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
